Martin P. Lumbridge (not his real name) persists in writing about film even though he has no professional qualifications or compelling reason to be believed. Expect spoilers.
A Cure For Wellness
by Martin | March 25, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
A slice of Hollywood Eurogothic from Gore Pirates of the Caribbean Verbinski, this begins quite promisingly in a vein of deadpan camp – a mode which serves it well enough until it goes (almost literally) down the toilet. Lockhart (Dane DeHaan), a young, reptilian Wall...
Santo in the Wax Museum (1963) / Santo Vs. The She-Wolves (1976)
by Martin | August 21, 2020 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the cinema... it IS safe. Oppressively so. I don't know about you but walking into a room full of people in surgical masks doesn't 'make me feel safe' – it makes me feel uneasy. And so I haven't joined the rush to get...
The Voices
by Martin | May 4, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
A toy factory worker in a small American town, Jerry (Ryan Reynolds) is your standard eager-to-please psychotic passing for normal, at least until he starts ticking the box marked ‘serial killer’ by stabbing his indifferent love-object (Gemma Arterton) to death and...
Frightfest 2016 Day Three
by Martin | October 23, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
MAN UNDERGROUND Or do I mean Day Four since I skipped Day Three? Oh what the hell. Nobody's paying me to do this. By this stage (Bank Holiday Monday) 'not really horror' (a term coined by Anton Bitel in a recent article for Sight and Sound online) seemed to be turning...
Horror Of The Blood Monsters (1970) / The Sky Trembles And The Earth Is Afraid And The Two Eyes Are Not Brothers
by Martin | July 23, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Sometimes all you need is a title – how can either of these films turn out to be anything other than disappointments? But this is the case with so much in life, and even before sitting down to watch them – in fact long, long before - I have already adjusted to this on...
Sins Of The Fleshapoids (1965)/Orphans Of The Cosmos (2008)
by Martin | January 18, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
I settled down for this Kuchar Brothers double-bill at the BFI with three cushions (Christmas presents for Mum) in carrier bags, a burden bulky enough to suggest that I should have splashed out on another ticket. With an amused gay man on my left and Brian Sewell...
Eyeball (1975) / Short Night Of Glass Dolls (1971) / Spasmo (1974)
by Martin | August 5, 2020 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
EYEBALL The original Italian title of Umberto Lenzi's Eyeball translates as Red Cats In A Glass Labyrinth, which makes very little sense and is all the more impressive for it. However, there is no doubt that Eyeball is more to the point. This giallo is about a busload...
Horrors Of The London Film Festival 2019
by Martin | February 22, 2020 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
DEERSKIN Horror films have fielded some unlikely 'monsters' over the years and director Quentin Dupieux has already supplied a notable one with 2010's Rubber, whose 'villain' was a spare tyre. His new film explores the malign potential of a jacket. Filling it out, and...
BFI London Film Festival 2014: The Duke Of Burgundy
by Martin | November 16, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
When nervous maid Cynthia (Sidhe Babett Knudson) turns up at the mansion of entomologist Evelyn (Chiara D'Anna) our first impression – as she harshly calls into question Cynthia's ability to wash knickers - is that Evelyn is an exacting, even cruel, mistress. But...
Hereditary
by Martin | August 5, 2018 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
In theory it ought to be possible to respond to a film without taking into account to the critical reaction to it, but once you are aware of that reaction and have seen it pasted on the sides of buses, there's not much you can do about that: it's already in you. But...