Martin P. Lumbridge (not his real name) persists in writing about film even though he has no professional qualifications or compelling reason to be believed. Expect spoilers.
Frightfest 2014: Bad Milo!
by Martin | September 7, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Frightfest has relocated from the Empire Leicester Square to the Vue Leicester Square, which seems to be a good thing. No more cramped Discovery Screens, we now have the run of numerous larger screens over several floors. And it's even nearer Burger King, where I sit...
Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark
by Martin | May 11, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
I've wanted to see the 1973 made-for-TV movie Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark ever since I read about it in Halliwell's Film Guide in the early 80's. I never have, but no doubt it would be just as disappointing as Troy Nixey's 2010 remake, which I watched – in order to...
BFI London Film Festival 2017: The Wound, Most Beautiful Island
by Martin | January 28, 2018 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
THE WOUND Up for the Sutherland First Feature Award was this South African tale whose hero Xolani (Nakhane Touré) returns every year to the countryside to become a 'caregiver' to initiates in a tribal ritual wherein boys become men by dint of such activities as...
Barbican Nights – Into the Woods Part One
by Martin | July 9, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
In an unusual attempt at consistency I thought I'd review this folk horror season curated by Cigarette Burns (Josh Saco), consisting of four films showing at the Barbican during May, the first being: THE COMPANY OF WOLVES (1984) Only I didn't go to that one. I...
The Substance / The Driver’s Seat (1974)
by Martin | November 10, 2024 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
THE SUBSTANCE Coralie Fargeat's The Substance is preposterous, which makes perfect sense. We're in the realm of showbiz, after all. Demi Moore is formidable as 'Elizabeth Sparkle', a fading star now fronting an aerobics show who is told by leering, vulgar producer...
BFI London Film Festival 2022: Lockdown Lingers
by Martin | January 29, 2023 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
COMA I am increasingly belated. Already it is 2023 and I still haven't got around to dealing with the 2022 London Film Festival. However, in many respects the festival itself hadn't yet escaped the preceding lockdown years – obviously nobody was expected to wear a...
The Woods Have Legs – Three Films
by Martin | December 3, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Blair Witch The woods! A simple enough phrase but so ominously evocative – I was quite intrigued on discovering that director Adam Wingard and writer Simon Barrett's film The Woods was due to premiere at Frightfest this year. I found much to enjoy in Barrett/Wingard's...
Phantoms of the Opera
by Martin | October 3, 2020 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
IL MOSTRO DELLA OPERA (1964) In the days before the cities became tombs and the cinemas morgues I went to a showing of this obscure Italian film at the Barbican on a Saturday morning, only to discover that I was encroaching upon a Phantom Of The Opera symposium. Who...
Microwave Massacre (1983)
by Martin | June 18, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
It's a truism that when horror goes wrong it can easily turn into comedy – but what happens when a horror comedy goes wrong? Microwave Massacre, available on Arrow Video, provides one possible answer - a vision of Hell made all the more hellish by the awareness that...
Final Destination: Bloodlines / Bogancloch / The Shrouds
by Martin | September 27, 2025 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
FINAL DESTINATION: BLOODLINES Horror franchises are noted for their unkillable villains, constantly being resurrected, but the Final Destination films cut to the chase in that the villain is death itself, and who is going to kill him? Or her. Or them. The films settle...