Martin P. Lumbridge (not his real name) persists in writing about film even though he has no professional qualifications or compelling reason to be believed. Expect spoilers.
Microwave Massacre (1983)
by Martin | June 18, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
It's a truism that when horror goes wrong it can easily turn into comedy – but what happens when a horror comedy goes wrong? Microwave Massacre, available on Arrow Video, provides one possible answer - a vision of Hell made all the more hellish by the awareness that...
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)
by Martin | September 16, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Outside the screen at the BFI stands horror film critic and musician Stephen Thrower (author of several enormous books on horror films which I would love to read if only I had the time - and money) next to a cake in the shape of a four-poster bed - though smaller, of...
Horror Of The Blood Monsters (1970) / The Sky Trembles And The Earth Is Afraid And The Two Eyes Are Not Brothers
by Martin | July 23, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Sometimes all you need is a title – how can either of these films turn out to be anything other than disappointments? But this is the case with so much in life, and even before sitting down to watch them – in fact long, long before - I have already adjusted to this on...
Frightfest 2022
by Martin | December 18, 2022 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
'Keep On Rollin', says a T-shirt on a little girl outside the Prince Charles Cinema, which I at first imagined was a reference to Jean Rollin, French director of sex vampire films and subject of the documentary Orchestrator of Storms, showing at Frightfest. The image...
And Soon The Darkness (1970)
by Martin | June 27, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Forget everything I said about the Horror Channel, like for example that it’s 99% shit. In fact it has been keeping me fed with delightful tidbits without over-stimulating me – what more could anyone ask for? This is a case in point. Like The Devil’s Rain it was...
Apples / In The Earth
by Martin | July 17, 2021 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
APPLES Who on earth, returning to the cinema after – well OK, during – a global pandemic would go and see a film that is about the pandemic, even if obliquely? About six people (including me) is the answer, if this afternoon showing is anything to go by. Apples seems...
Kothanodi (BFI London Film Festival 2015)
by Martin | November 1, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Indian horror films are hard to come by – and this isn't one either, or not exactly. Nevertheless, Kothanodi (it means 'river of fables'), a compendium of four interlinked folk tales from Assam, is almost grim enough to qualify. In the most optimistic of these tales...
So This Is Real Life – Three Documentaries
by Martin | January 8, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
FURTHER BEYOND This is a film about the making of a biopic about Ambrosio O'Higgins, who – back in the 18th century - travelled from Ireland to Spain to Chile, where he became quite a big deal and his son Bernardo even more of one. In a Tristram Shandy kind of fashion...
The Brand New Testament (BFI London Film Festival 2015)
by Martin | November 14, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Jaco Van Dormael's film might end up being remembered as the one where Catherine Deneuve sleeps with a gorilla, but that's the least of it. Benoît Poolvoorde is God, a middle-aged slob who never leaves his apartment and spends most of his time on his computer,...
The Lady From Shanghai (1947) and The Spooky Bunch (1980)
by Martin | August 25, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Orson Welles' Irish accent in The Lady From Shanghai is perfectly emblematic of the film itself: you can't quite believe it yet you can't quite disbelieve it either. Welles' character, a sailor called Michael O'Hara, falls in love with Rita Hayworth's lady of the...