Martin P. Lumbridge (not his real name) persists in writing about film even though he has no professional qualifications or compelling reason to be believed. Expect spoilers.
Barbican Nights – Into the Woods Part One
by Martin | July 9, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
In an unusual attempt at consistency I thought I'd review this folk horror season curated by Cigarette Burns (Josh Saco), consisting of four films showing at the Barbican during May, the first being: THE COMPANY OF WOLVES (1984) Only I didn't go to that one. I...
Aaaaaaaah!
by Martin | March 20, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Two men (Steve Oram and Tom Meeten) who only communicate in ape-like grunts, are in the woods mourning the passing of a loved one (we assume) by pissing on a framed photo of her. That done, they set off into the city, to bring (so we might imagine) their primitive...
Everlasting Love (Amor Eterno)
by Martin | April 26, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Showing at BFI Flare, Marçal Forés’ Everlasting Love presents a more plausible woodland cruising ground than did Alain Guiraudie’s overpraised Stranger By The Lake, even if this one does feature teenage cannibals. Forés’ last (and first) film was Animals, which...
The Secret of Dorian Gray (1969)
by Martin | March 11, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Ah, Valentine's Day – my favourite feast day, since my single status means I don't have to observe it. Nevertheless I was moved to recognise it to the extent of braving rail replacement services to get to the Barbican, where film programmer Josh Saco (aka Cigarette...
The Wolf Of Wall Street
by Martin | October 4, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Mere seconds after rogue stockbroker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) appears in Martin Scorsese's film, I was eagerly awaiting his comeuppance, if not actual slow death by steamroller. Unfortunately I had to wait nearly 3 hours and even then (SPOILER ALERT) it...
Final Destination: Bloodlines / Bogancloch / The Shrouds
by Martin | September 27, 2025 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
FINAL DESTINATION: BLOODLINES Horror franchises are noted for their unkillable villains, constantly being resurrected, but the Final Destination films cut to the chase in that the villain is death itself, and who is going to kill him? Or her. Or them. The films settle...
GUILT-FREE CINEMA? The New York Ripper (1982) / Hitch Hike To Hell (1977)
by Martin | January 24, 2021 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
At some point in the run-up towards Christmas I found myself watching a documentary on BBC4 by Catherine Bray that encouraged us not to feel 'guilty' about watching 'bad' films. It seemed to be right up my alley and for a good twenty minutes all seemed to be well....
BFI London Film Festival 2021: Age and Agency
by Martin | January 30, 2022 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
LA ABUELA In this Spanish film from Rec director Paco Plaza, Susana (Almudena Amor), a fashion model on the verge of success, has to take a career break when her grandmother Pilar (Vera Valdez) has a brain haemorrhage and she has to go and look after her, at least...
Frankenstein 1970
by Martin | April 20, 2019 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
This begins generically but effectively with a screaming girl being pursued across the (German, it turns out) countryside by a nightmarishly-contorted Frankenstein's monster whose face we never see; this proves, however, to be part of a TV programme being shot in the...
American Fiction
by Martin | February 24, 2024 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
I haven't seen this literary satire, Cord Jefferson's debut film, based on a 2001 book by Percival Everett, but I was fully intending to until I saw the trailer. It put me off. Judging a film by its trailer is a bit like judging a book by its cover, but you can in...