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Martin P. Lumbridge (not his real name) persists in writing about film even though he has no professional qualifications or compelling reason to be believed. Expect spoilers.

Three Against Nature

THE SAILOR WHO FELL FROM GRACE WITH THE SEA (1976) 'An insult to any audience' concludes the review of Lewis John Carlino's film The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With The Sea (hereafter referred to as Sailor) in my damaged-in-transit Waterstones-freebie edition of the...

Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey / The Brain From Planet Arous (1957)

WINNIE THE POOH: BLOOD AND HONEY Not all bad films are good. The inspiration behind Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey was apparently writer-director Rhys Frake-Waterfield's understanding that A.A. Milne's characters were going out of copyright, and so fair game for...

LFF 2019: Queen Of Diamonds (1991) / Krabi 2562

QUEEN OF DIAMONDS (1991) Showing in the 'Treasures From The Archive' section at the LFF, Nina Menkes’ Queen of Diamonds features her sister Tinka playing a character who, in the director’s words, ‘hasn’t learned to say hello’. In keeping with her air of diffidence,...

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)

Outside the screen at the BFI stands horror film critic and musician Stephen Thrower (author of several enormous books on horror films which I would love to read if only I had the time - and money) next to a cake in the shape of a four-poster bed - though smaller, of...

La Grande Bouffe (1973)

Marco Ferreri’s 1973 film La Grande Bouffe has airline pilot Marcello Mastroianni, chef Ugo Tognazzi, TV director Michel Piccoli and judge Philippe Noiret gathering in Noiret’s old family pile to indulge themselves in hedonistic pleasures until the toilet backs up -...

Enys Men / Skinamarink

ENYS MEN Mark Jenkin's follow-up to the attention-grabbing and fiercely Cornish Bait is being sold as 'folk-horror' but it's a bit more experimental than that might suggest. I don't know if anyone has complained. Certainly I won't, since I enjoy an experimental film,...

Horromford

Soon every town in the country will have its own horror film festival, which I suppose is no bad thing, although I could hardly keep up when it was just Frightfest. I saw one film that escaped me at Frightfest (Austin Jennings' Eight Eyes) in late January at...

Nosferatu / Babygirl / Companion

NOSFERATU 'Yes we have Nosferatu, we have Nosferatu today.' Not much chance of this (the best joke in Mel Brooks' 1995 spoof Dracula: Dead and Loving It) making it into Robert Eggers' latest spin on F. W. Murnau's 1922 film, an unauthorised version of Dracula also...

LFF 2018: Holiday / This Teacher / Cam

HOLIDAY I took over a week's holiday for the London Film Festival in 2018. This leaves me with no anecdotes about my experiences when I get back to work but it means that I can 'visit' many different countries without the hassle of actually having to go anywhere...

Strait Jacket (1964) / Lizzie

STRAIT JACKET Winding up the Joan Crawford season at the BFI was this William Castle production from the trashier end of her spectrum, though compared to Trog (1970) it's a masterpiece. The audience have come over-determined to giggle at a camp classic, and to be fair...