Martin P. Lumbridge (not his real name) persists in writing about film even though he has no professional qualifications or compelling reason to be believed. Expect spoilers.
Under The Skin
by Martin | April 26, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
I took a half day off work to see this, and thus missed Ann Widdecombe on the Jeremy Vine show talking about 'What It Means To Be Human'. However, this offered a roughly comparable experience. An attractive alien disguised as movie star Scarlett Johanssen drives round...
The Million Eyes Of Sumuru (1967)
by Martin | February 28, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
'I have a million eyes, for I am Sumuru', says Shirley Eaton in voiceover at the beginning of this particular disaster. She doesn't really have a million eyes - that's the first disappointment. The notional 'million eyes' belong to her followers. Sumuru leads an...
Censor / Surge
by Martin | October 10, 2021 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
CENSOR Prano Bailey-Bond's Censor makes a link between censorship and (emotional, psychological) repression that's pretty obvious, but the film has a knack of making the obvious work – which has the additional virtue of being thematically appropriate. After all, the...
mother!
by Martin | November 12, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
The release of Darren Aronofky's latest film was preceded by a director interview by Trevor Johnston in Sight & Sound urging viewers not to read it until they'd seen the film, since (even more than is usually the case) the more you knew about this film in advance...
Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark
by Martin | May 11, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
I've wanted to see the 1973 made-for-TV movie Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark ever since I read about it in Halliwell's Film Guide in the early 80's. I never have, but no doubt it would be just as disappointing as Troy Nixey's 2010 remake, which I watched – in order to...
Foxcatcher/Whiplash
by Martin | March 1, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
I may boast of my aversion to the mainstream but do I ever really escape it, or is it like Christopher Marlowe said: ‘Where we are is the mainstream and the mainstream is where we ever are’? (OK, he was talking about Hell but it’s the same idea.) I have been slightly...
Microwave Massacre (1983)
by Martin | June 18, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
It's a truism that when horror goes wrong it can easily turn into comedy – but what happens when a horror comedy goes wrong? Microwave Massacre, available on Arrow Video, provides one possible answer - a vision of Hell made all the more hellish by the awareness that...
Stray Dogs
by Martin | June 13, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
‘What is this life if, filled with care/We have no time to stand and stare?’, said the Victorian poet W. H. Davies. Good point, and a view clearly shared by Chinese director Tsai-Ming-liang, who transfixes (hopefully) his audience with fixed shots of his characters...
Horromford
by Martin | May 19, 2024 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Soon every town in the country will have its own horror film festival, which I suppose is no bad thing, although I could hardly keep up when it was just Frightfest. I saw one film that escaped me at Frightfest (Austin Jennings' Eight Eyes) in late January at...
Blink Twice and Heretic meet The Phantom of the Monastery (1934)
by Martin | January 2, 2025 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
BLINK TWICE Waitress Frida (Naomi Ackie) and her friend Jess (Alia Shawkat) accept an invite to the private island of tech billionaire Slater King (Channing Tatum), where everybody seems to be having a fantastic time – or are they? Well, maybe not the women, who have...