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Martin P. Lumbridge (not his real name) persists in writing about film even though he has no professional qualifications or compelling reason to be believed. Expect spoilers.

Apples / In The Earth

APPLES Who on earth, returning to the cinema after – well OK, during – a global pandemic would go and see a film that is about the pandemic, even if obliquely? About six people (including me) is the answer, if this afternoon showing is anything to go by. Apples seems...

A Brexit Trilogy

GOD'S OWN COUNTRY (2017) Brexit – is it humanity asserting its freedom to be perverse in the face of global capitalism, or is it just a backward-leaning movement composed of people whose preciousness about their 'British identity' makes you wonder who the real...

Eyeball (1975) / Short Night Of Glass Dolls (1971) / Spasmo (1974)

EYEBALL The original Italian title of Umberto Lenzi's Eyeball translates as Red Cats In A Glass Labyrinth, which makes very little sense and is all the more impressive for it. However, there is no doubt that Eyeball is more to the point. This giallo is about a busload...

Barbican Nights – Into the Woods Part One

In an unusual attempt at consistency I thought I'd review this folk horror season curated by Cigarette Burns (Josh Saco), consisting of four films showing at the Barbican during May, the first being: THE COMPANY OF WOLVES (1984) Only I didn't go to that one. I...

Kinoteka 2019. Monument

'It won't be easy', warned writer-director Jagoda Szelc before her second film began, which was possibly an example of what she later referred to as her as her 'dry humour' – does anyone go to the Polish Film Festival expecting uncomplicated fun and games? Not that...

Damnation Alley (1977)

Given Roger Zelazny's reputation as an SF writer I can only assume that this is a bowlderized version of his 1969 novel. The very fact that it's showing at 8:00 of a Saturday morning on the Horror Channel suggests that it may not be very challenging. Still, I've set...

BFI London Film Festival 2017: Rift, My Friend Dahmer, Hagazussa – A Heathen’s Curse

RIFT Apparently the Icelandic title of Rift (Rökkur) more closely corresponds to 'Twilight', but that title, as the director Erlingur Thoroddsen drily points out, was already taken. Though not terribly exciting as a title, Rift is apt enough for this story of two gay...

Microwave Massacre (1983)

It's a truism that when horror goes wrong it can easily turn into comedy – but what happens when a horror comedy goes wrong? Microwave Massacre, available on Arrow Video, provides one possible answer - a vision of Hell made all the more hellish by the awareness that...

Popcorn (1991)

Although I don't think it has been languishing in obscurity exactly (it's showing on the Horror Channel as I write) Popcorn is a film I've somehow missed. Luckily Michael Blyth, masterminding the BFI’s Cult strand, has given it an airing and thus allowed me to atone...

Talk To Me / Asteroid City / Nope

TALK TO ME Directors Danny and Michael Phillipou come to us from YouTube, where they operate some sort of channel apparently, which may explain why this BFI showing was full of young people. They were probably taking advantage of the BFI under-25's offer (as if youth...