Martin P. Lumbridge (not his real name) persists in writing about film even though he has no professional qualifications or compelling reason to be believed. Expect spoilers.
The Devil Outside / Permanent Green Light
by Martin | March 16, 2019 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
THE DEVIL OUTSIDE In writer-director Andrew Hulme's second film (after gangster drama Snow In Paradise, which I haven't seen but will be sure to catch up with – no doubt on London Live - one day) our adolescent hero Robert (Noah Carson) finds the disconnect between...
The Substance / The Driver’s Seat (1974)
by Martin | November 10, 2024 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
THE SUBSTANCE Coralie Fargeat's The Substance is preposterous, which makes perfect sense. We're in the realm of showbiz, after all. Demi Moore is formidable as 'Elizabeth Sparkle', a fading star now fronting an aerobics show who is told by leering, vulgar producer...
Barbican Nights: Into The Woods Part Two
by Martin | August 5, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
EYES OF FIRE (1986) This, Josh Saco explains, is a 'lost' film, and just because it is here tonight screening in front of us that doesn't mean it has been found again. I mean, who are we to 'find' it? Even the director, Avery Crounse, was happy to let it go and move...
Strait Jacket (1964) / Lizzie
by Martin | December 1, 2018 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
STRAIT JACKET Winding up the Joan Crawford season at the BFI was this William Castle production from the trashier end of her spectrum, though compared to Trog (1970) it's a masterpiece. The audience have come over-determined to giggle at a camp classic, and to be fair...
Apples / In The Earth
by Martin | July 17, 2021 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
APPLES Who on earth, returning to the cinema after – well OK, during – a global pandemic would go and see a film that is about the pandemic, even if obliquely? About six people (including me) is the answer, if this afternoon showing is anything to go by. Apples seems...
Sins Of The Fleshapoids (1965)/Orphans Of The Cosmos (2008)
by Martin | January 18, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
I settled down for this Kuchar Brothers double-bill at the BFI with three cushions (Christmas presents for Mum) in carrier bags, a burden bulky enough to suggest that I should have splashed out on another ticket. With an amused gay man on my left and Brian Sewell...
Monster On The Campus (1958)
by Martin | May 1, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
This begins with college professor Donald Blake (Arthur Franz) completing his collection of busts depicting the various stages of human evolution with one of 'Modern Woman', taken from his fiancée's face. Subsequently, as if this is the peak of evolution and there's...
Frightfest 2019 Part One – Home Discomforts
by Martin | September 21, 2019 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Set in my ways as I am I prefer to buy my Frightfest tickets in person, at whatever passes for a 'box office' nowadays. Over the years this has become more and more difficult and now entails leaving it to the very last moment. This time around I thought my resistance...
Frankenstein 1970
by Martin | April 20, 2019 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
This begins generically but effectively with a screaming girl being pursued across the (German, it turns out) countryside by a nightmarishly-contorted Frankenstein's monster whose face we never see; this proves, however, to be part of a TV programme being shot in the...
Blink Twice and Heretic meet The Phantom of the Monastery (1934)
by Martin | January 2, 2025 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
BLINK TWICE Waitress Frida (Naomi Ackie) and her friend Jess (Alia Shawkat) accept an invite to the private island of tech billionaire Slater King (Channing Tatum), where everybody seems to be having a fantastic time – or are they? Well, maybe not the women, who have...