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Martin P. Lumbridge (not his real name) persists in writing about film even though he has no professional qualifications or compelling reason to be believed. Expect spoilers.

Blink Twice and Heretic meet The Phantom of the Monastery (1934)

BLINK TWICE Waitress Frida (Naomi Ackie) and her friend Jess (Alia Shawkat) accept an invite to the private island of tech billionaire Slater King (Channing Tatum), where everybody seems to be having a fantastic time – or are they? Well, maybe not the women, who have...

Frightfest 2019 Part One – Home Discomforts

Set in my ways as I am I prefer to buy my Frightfest tickets in person, at whatever passes for a 'box office' nowadays. Over the years this has become more and more difficult and now entails leaving it to the very last moment. This time around I thought my resistance...

Downton Abbey (2019) / Ray and Liz (2018)

DOWNTON ABBEY For many years the TV series Downton Abbey, created by Julian Fellowes, mined the Sunday night craving for reassurance about the past, presenting it as a world in which everyone knew their place. The past, at least the past we never knew personally, is a...

Exhibition

Director Joanna Hogg's first two films – Unrelated (2007) and Archipelago (2010) – are about upper-middle class English families on holiday in Tuscany and the Scilly Isles respectively. They were more interested in absorbing you in a landscape and situation than in...

The Lady From Shanghai (1947) and The Spooky Bunch (1980)

Orson Welles' Irish accent in The Lady From Shanghai is perfectly emblematic of the film itself: you can't quite believe it yet you can't quite disbelieve it either. Welles' character, a sailor called Michael O'Hara, falls in love with Rita Hayworth's lady of the...

Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey / The Brain From Planet Arous (1957)

WINNIE THE POOH: BLOOD AND HONEY Not all bad films are good. The inspiration behind Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey was apparently writer-director Rhys Frake-Waterfield's understanding that A.A. Milne's characters were going out of copyright, and so fair game for...

Salvo

Mafia hitman Salvo (Saleh Bakri) kills a guy but instead of despatching his sister Rita (Sara Serraiocco) - a witness to the crime - he chooses to hide her in an abandoned factory and keep her fed and watered. Why? Love? Pity? Or is he caught on the horns of a...

The Toxic Avenger (1984)

It's fair to say that showings of films in the Cult strand at the BFI have been somewhat underpopulated. In spite of a mention in Time Out, this is no exception – which is as it should be. What point is there in a cult film if everyone wants to see it? This is one of...

Frightfest 2014: Open Windows, Nekromantik and Der Samurai

OPEN WINDOWS In an age when you can watch films on your phone, here's another novelty – going to the cinema to see a film whose action takes place entirely on someone's laptop screen. I think it did, anyway – I was frankly a little befuddled by the end. Bear in mind...

LFF 2018: Tumbbad / The Nightshifter

TUMBBAD Indian horror films are something of a rarity, but Kothanodi was one of my highlights of 2015's London Film Festival, and that was a horror film – sort of. This one, my first film of this year's festival, definitely is - or wants to be. It begins with an...