Martin P. Lumbridge (not his real name) persists in writing about film even though he has no professional qualifications or compelling reason to be believed. Expect spoilers.
Caged Women: Hounds of Love, Berlin Syndrome, The Beguiled
by Martin | September 16, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
HOUNDS OF LOVE In 1987 sullen Australian teenager Vicki (Ashleigh Cummings) seethes with resentment at her mum, who has chosen to split with surgeon dad, necessitating a move to a seedier part of town – still, things could be worse, as she soon discovers when...
BFI London Film Festival 2014: Hard To Be A God
by Martin | October 25, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
What better way to ease yourself gently into a film festival than with a nearly-three-hour black and white Russian film based on an sf novel I've never read? Aleksei German's film (based on a novel by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky) is set on a planet which has been...
Who Killed Teddy Bear (1965)
by Martin | May 29, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
At one point in this the man who I suppose we'll have to call the hero for want of any other more suitable candidate – Lt. Dave Madden ( Jan Murray) - is told that he has 'crossed a line'. Well this film has crossed a line before it's even started, as the credits roll...
Aaaaaaaah!
by Martin | March 20, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Two men (Steve Oram and Tom Meeten) who only communicate in ape-like grunts, are in the woods mourning the passing of a loved one (we assume) by pissing on a framed photo of her. That done, they set off into the city, to bring (so we might imagine) their primitive...
The Manster (1959)
by Martin | June 12, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
I got this in a DVD box set called Brains That Wouldn't Die ('6 Midnight Movies on 2 DVDs!'). On the plus side, there are some hard-to-see films here – on the downside, such is the picture quality that they often remain hard to see, even while you're watching them....
Burke And Hare (1971)
by Martin | January 26, 2020 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
This is director Vernon Sewell’s last film and there’s something fitting about that: after two ventures into the more fantastical side of horror (The Blood Beast Terror and The Curse Of The Crimson Altar from 1966 and 1968 respectively) neither of which went out of...
Under The Skin
by Martin | April 26, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
I took a half day off work to see this, and thus missed Ann Widdecombe on the Jeremy Vine show talking about 'What It Means To Be Human'. However, this offered a roughly comparable experience. An attractive alien disguised as movie star Scarlett Johanssen drives round...
Crazy About Love: Fingernails, Vincent Must Die, and Tchaikovsky’s Wife
by Martin | March 3, 2024 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
FINGERNAILS Love is lighter than air, sings Stephen Merritt of The Magnetic Fields. It floats away when you let go. Love therefore needs to be grounded: in Greek director Christos Nikou's follow-up to his debut film Apples it is grounded in having your fingernails...
Locke
by Martin | May 25, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
This is that film where a plausibly middle-aged Tom Hardy drives from Birmingham to London in a Welsh accent. Not a bad Welsh accent – I was reminded of Rob Brydon, who also did a thing set entirely in a vehicle, Marion And Geoff. That was a poignant comedy of...
London Film Festival 2019: Tremors / La Llorona
by Martin | January 19, 2020 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
TREMORS According to writer-director Jayro Bustamente only about four films are made in Guatemala per year. I have now seen two, which pretty much makes me an expert in Guatemalan cinema. I could probably write a book on it. Not to be confused with a Kevin Bacon film...