Martin P. Lumbridge (not his real name) persists in writing about film even though he has no professional qualifications or compelling reason to be believed. Expect spoilers.
Frightfest 2018 Part Two: Awks
by Martin | October 15, 2018 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
KILLING GOD In this Spanish offering from directors Caye Casas and Albert Pintó, various members of a family gather in an old dark house for New Year's Eve, only to be joined by a dwarf who emerges from the toilet (the room, not the bowl – at least as far as we can...
Stray Dogs
by Martin | June 13, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
‘What is this life if, filled with care/We have no time to stand and stare?’, said the Victorian poet W. H. Davies. Good point, and a view clearly shared by Chinese director Tsai-Ming-liang, who transfixes (hopefully) his audience with fixed shots of his characters...
Damnation Alley (1977)
by Martin | August 9, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Given Roger Zelazny's reputation as an SF writer I can only assume that this is a bowlderized version of his 1969 novel. The very fact that it's showing at 8:00 of a Saturday morning on the Horror Channel suggests that it may not be very challenging. Still, I've set...
More Quite Good Films of 2014
by Martin | February 1, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
L FOR LEISURE The fact that people are nostalgic for the 90's is beguilingly weird to me - I was there, and barely noticed them – but maybe this is why I enjoyed Whitney Horn and Lev Kalman's goofy, dreamy, possibly inconsequential L For Leisure so very much. It was...
Three Against Nature
by Martin | June 10, 2018 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
THE SAILOR WHO FELL FROM GRACE WITH THE SEA (1976) 'An insult to any audience' concludes the review of Lewis John Carlino's film The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With The Sea (hereafter referred to as Sailor) in my damaged-in-transit Waterstones-freebie edition of the...
BFI London Film Festival 2014: Metamorphoses/White God
by Martin | December 7, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
METAMORPHOSES Christophe Honoré's film is based on something I've not read – Ovid's Metamorphoses – but no need to be alarmed: the stories are spelled out very clearly. Indeed, almost too clearly. The set-up is that Europa (Amira Akili) is a schoolgirl learning about...
Locke
by Martin | May 25, 2014 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
This is that film where a plausibly middle-aged Tom Hardy drives from Birmingham to London in a Welsh accent. Not a bad Welsh accent – I was reminded of Rob Brydon, who also did a thing set entirely in a vehicle, Marion And Geoff. That was a poignant comedy of...
LOCKDOWN! The Giant Claw (1957)
by Martin | April 24, 2020 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
How often have I fantasized about the government forbidding me to leave the house so that I am finally compelled to watch all the DVDs I have accumulated over the years? Well never, since that would have been absurd, even for a fantasy. Nevertheless here we are. Or at...
The Secret of Dorian Gray (1969)
by Martin | March 11, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Ah, Valentine's Day – my favourite feast day, since my single status means I don't have to observe it. Nevertheless I was moved to recognise it to the extent of braving rail replacement services to get to the Barbican, where film programmer Josh Saco (aka Cigarette...
Frightfest 2017: Evil Twins
by Martin | October 1, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
FASHIONISTA As regular readers would know (if they existed), Frightfest usually marks the one time in the calendar year where I don't go to the cinema alone: Dave comes along. Or at least he does for part of the time before he has to duck out due to work commitments...