Martin P. Lumbridge (not his real name) persists in writing about film even though he has no professional qualifications or compelling reason to be believed. Expect spoilers.
Frightfest 2019 Part Three
by Martin | October 26, 2019 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
DEPRAVED In 1991's No Telling, Larry Fessenden's first take on the Frankenstein story – and first film, in fact – the mad scientist has, by the end of it, managed to weld a Border collie and a calf together, which would only have made the third act in a standard...
The Bat (1959)
by Martin | March 4, 2017 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
This comes from a cheap and pretty random box set of 'horror' DVD's I got as a Secret Santa present – thanks, Lorraine! - so there's no frills here, no trailer or 'Making Of': they barely manage to give you the film itself. Which is bad anyway, so creaky you can...
Frankenstein 1970
by Martin | April 20, 2019 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
This begins generically but effectively with a screaming girl being pursued across the (German, it turns out) countryside by a nightmarishly-contorted Frankenstein's monster whose face we never see; this proves, however, to be part of a TV programme being shot in the...
The Brand New Testament (BFI London Film Festival 2015)
by Martin | November 14, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Jaco Van Dormael's film might end up being remembered as the one where Catherine Deneuve sleeps with a gorilla, but that's the least of it. Benoît Poolvoorde is God, a middle-aged slob who never leaves his apartment and spends most of his time on his computer,...
Who Killed Teddy Bear (1965)
by Martin | May 29, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
At one point in this the man who I suppose we'll have to call the hero for want of any other more suitable candidate – Lt. Dave Madden ( Jan Murray) - is told that he has 'crossed a line'. Well this film has crossed a line before it's even started, as the credits roll...
The Revenant
by Martin | May 29, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
Early reports of this film had audiences scandalised by the sight of star Leonardo di Caprio being raped by a bear. Three times. I suspect that this was hype worked up by the studio's marketing department, but I suppose it depends on whether you think people are more...
In Pictures
by Martin | May 30, 2021 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
BLOOD AND BLACK LACE (1964) Mario Bava's The Girl Who Knew Too Much (1963) is said to be the first giallo, but of Bava's films it is this that feels like the ur-giallo, a template for everything that came after – not just 70's gialli, but 80's slasher films as well....
The Body Stealers (1969)
by Martin | June 11, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
I seem to remember this showing late at night on ITV back in the 70's, but I never bothered to stay up watching it, and quite rightly as I was surely too young to appreciate how bad it is. Now it's showing on a Saturday morning on Movies4men, at a time when, back in...
Office Killer (1997)
by Martin | August 14, 2016 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
The first thing I knew about photographer Cindy Sherman making a sort of horror film was when I saw that feminist film club the Final Girls were screening it at the Prince Charles; either that, or I did actually see it at the cinema in the 90's and subsequently forgot...
L’il Quinquin
by Martin | January 18, 2015 | movies, reviews | 0 Comments
My jaw dropped when I heard that divisive auteur Bruno Dumont's next film would be a comedy about cops, and remained in that state throughout the three-hour plus length of the film (actually a four-part TV series, served up in a single showing at the London Film...